obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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