you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
