I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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