I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
wow bdsm is so cute
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
