is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....