What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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