Texts From Last Night

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  (807): View more from Ontario

  discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.

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  (807): discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth. http://tfl.nu/mppt
  Replies (29) Good night (5636) Bad night (686)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.

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  (214): We're like two naked peas in a sex pod. http://tfl.nu/sqen
  Replies (23) Good night (6483) Bad night (757)
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  (510): View more from California

  i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me

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  (510): i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me http://tfl.nu/jfl6
  Replies (65) Good night (2213) Bad night (12570)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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  (334): I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment. http://tfl.nu/dpzt
  Replies (26) Good night (775) Bad night (3668)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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  (215): i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b http://tfl.nu/ogbj
  Replies (47) Good night (2463) Bad night (6512)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.

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  (614): every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with. http://tfl.nu/j96s
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (3135)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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  (270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0
  Replies (10) Good night (1188) Bad night (2390)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.

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  (504): He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom. http://tfl.nu/xop2
  Replies (2) Good night (1618) Bad night (1103)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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  (518): I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here. http://tfl.nu/4g6f
  Replies (13) Good night (590) Bad night (2903)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (1261)
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  (562): View more from California

  Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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  (562): Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car http://tfl.nu/galf
  Replies (6) Good night (1289) Bad night (462)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels

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  (440): My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels http://tfl.nu/oz5l
  Replies (11) Good night (528) Bad night (594)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

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  (402): All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail. http://tfl.nu/8ssh
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (378)
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  (756): View more from

  i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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  (756): i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry http://tfl.nu/es94
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (239)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job

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  (410): Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job http://tfl.nu/zapx
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (277)

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