Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night! (253): Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out. http://tfl.nu/4dtb
  Replies (68) Good night (1218) Bad night (3254)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

  (376): View more from

  you are insane

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh
  Replies (12) Good night (3629) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/k0dm
  Replies (13) Good night (5541) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

  (720): View more from Colorado

  and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944 (720): and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate http://tfl.nu/x2vg
  Replies (15) Good night (5553) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2317) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing http://tfl.nu/1m78
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class? http://tfl.nu/dw55
  Replies (2) Good night (1410) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/b3pk
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I think a kid would responsible me up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): I think a kid would responsible me up http://tfl.nu/vbco
  Replies (16) Good night (575) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay
  Replies (9) Good night (564) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor... (262): I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho. http://tfl.nu/4nj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?

  (406): View more from Montana

  Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ? (406): Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/y05k
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?" http://tfl.nu/ww6f
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak http://tfl.nu/lfx1
  Replies (7) Good night (408) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies http://tfl.nu/b1bo
  Replies (0) Good night (168) Bad night (278)

Randomize