Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...