i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?