I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
