God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
