she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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