I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
