so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
