Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
