You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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