just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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