Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
