since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need a burrito and a hug.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
