i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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