Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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