It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
