You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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