One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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