i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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