I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I can't turn off my feet"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
