I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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