Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
