I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
