wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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