Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
