you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
