Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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