i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
