I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize