no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
