Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
