His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize