i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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