So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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