That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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