If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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