You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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