That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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