we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
