My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
