Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
