I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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