if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
