you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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