where am i from again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize