It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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