dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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