Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
