hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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