put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need water and some morals
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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