All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
