I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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