My room smells like vodka and shame
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
