So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
