just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize