So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
