Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
