My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
