Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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