I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
