Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
