well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
