So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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