Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
