Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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