So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
